October - Full Hunter’s Moon or Full Harvest Moon –This
full Moon is often referred to as the Full Hunter’s Moon, Blood Moon, or
Sanguine Moon. Many “moons “ ago, Native Americans named this bright moon for
obvious reasons. The leaves are falling from trees, the deer are fattened, and
it’s time to begin storing up meat for the long winter ahead. Because the fields
were traditionally reaped in late September or early October, hunters could
easily see fox and other animals that come out to glean from the fallen grains.
Probably because of the threat of winter looming close, the Hunter’s Moon is
generally accorded with special honor, historically serving as an important
feast day in both Western Europe and among many Native American tribes.
I know I have mentioned that I would never EVER be
considered for the best parent award and here is the proof.
When John was in kindergarten he was always in
trouble. When I look back on his early schooling I wish I had stayed home with
him…he was very sensitive to touch so when people got in his space…as little
kids always do…it would send him into orbit…and sometimes he would even hit
another kid…and if I saw it and called him out he would reply that they hit him
first! (which ,of course, was not true but he thought that they really had hit
him because his personal bubble was so huge!!) Sometimes he would hit the kid
and than grab his arm with as if to say…ohhhh, I didn’t mean it! It truly was a
reaction to people being too close to him…if we were in lines at say Disney..I
would pick him up and hold him tight so he would feel safer. The OT who worked
with him once told me that it feels like they have just had a near miss
accident! Poor baby!! He did get used to living with it …at least I think he
did (or he just stopped hitting other people and I interpreted that to mean he
was ok…this is something I would clarify if I had the chance…)
Anyway….let’s just add that to the millions of things
mom’s like me feel guilty about and move on with the real story
…John’s kindergarten class had a little Halloween show
every year…the kids would dress up and sing all the fall songs they had learned
for parents and the kids in the nursery class. In order to do this the
kindergarten kids stood on risers….you are probably beginning to see the
problem…a bunch of little kids squished on skinny risers…and my little monkey
with “touch” issues!
I don’t think that I ever went to pick him up from
school when the teacher didn’t have a negative comment about his behavior on
those damn risers…and as a mom you get so worked up when teachers are always
complaining …they make you feel like you should be able to do something to fix
it….so one day I told him if he didn’t stop causing trouble he would not be
allowed to go to school on Halloween. (and I had made him a really cool Ninja
Turtle costume out of a Hulk pattern and a handmade paper mache shell…he loved
it and was so excited)
So, you know what was going to happen…the day before
Halloween I pick him up ..the teacher bitches about him and I tell him he is
not going to go to school for the party….and once it is out of my mouth…I felt
I had to stick to it…so he and I stayed home…only to find out Halloween night
that the kid he pushed had pushed him first!!! (as told by his savior, best bud, and school
wife…Elizabeth Potter…who always tells the truth…for good or bad) so I had
punished John for no reason…and in retrospect I should have known that his
behavior was really more related to his issue than begin a genuine pain in the
neck!!
I have to say…I have never been able to let go of how
badly I feel about my behavior in that episode …I was so sure that he would
turn out to be police blotter material if I didn’t back up my threats that I
didn’t’ take a minute to step back and assess what was really important … and
by taking that day from him …a day he could never get back…I cost him one more
day of fun in what turned out to be a very short life and probably made him
trust and respect me …his Mother…a little less…all of which I can not fix….even
if he were still around….the damage had been done…and it was not necessary had
I really been the grown up and taken a minute to rethink what was going on.
So, my message here is to learn from my mistake and be
very careful with your words … and as hard as it is sometimes…try to take a
look at the whole picture as objectively as possible before you make a judgment
call …you are not at your best when you are saying and doing things in the heat
of the moment! I certainly look back on
that day with great sadness and shame!! (thank God I had a baby boy who was
very forgiving!)
