Wednesday, August 1, 2012


Full Sturgeon Moon –The fishing tribes are given credit for the naming of this Moon, since sturgeon, a large fish of the Great Lakes and other major bodies of water, were most readily caught during this month. A few tribes knew it as the Full Red Moon because, as the Moon rises, it appears reddish through any sultry haze. It was also called the Green Corn Moon or Grain Moon.

Thank you to the Olympic Committee for choosing London for the site this year because without this I would have nothing to say this month (impossible to believe for those who know me but it is true)!

John always loved to travel because he found everything and everyone so interesting. I think that was one of the biggest selling points in his decision to join the band in the first place. He was smiling in almost every single picture taken of him while they traveled around the country.  He loved it so much that once he mentioned that he would love to travel to different regions and sample the foods… linking it to different kinds of beers (I know, that exact show is now on TV…he was always ahead of his time).

Clearly thought, the highlight of his career was when they went to London. I think that is when he realized that he was REALLY talented. In fact, when he was applying for his visa he asked me what he should write in the space provided for occupation. I suggested the obvious choice (musician) and he replied “Really?” When I told him that was what he was doing over there he quietly thought about it for a minute and I think it was the first time that he began to get where his life was going. This is probably why he was so loved by the people who came to see him…he never thought he was going to be a superstar; he was just the kid having fun….and people appreciated that about him.

We really wanted to go with him. My husband hates to fly but he was all for this trip. I researched hotels and flights but when we got John’s schedule we realized that we were only going to be able to spend one day together at most because they had to be back in NY to play almost immediately after the last show. I would have done it but the more I thought of it I decided that our presence may add a lot of stress to his trip. He was a kid who would have taken the time to be with us even if he had to loose sleep to do it…John wasn’t a good juggler of time so I just thought I should back off and let him have his own experience … I stupidly thought that there would be other trips to England …we would go next time when he had the lay of the land. I had to settle for his description of the trip…had to envision the sight when he told me that he had “goosebumbs” when he played at a club called Koko’s (Charlie Chaplin played there and I think he told me that it was the biggest venue they ever played) My heart broke when I found out that he didn’t go with the band to talk to record companies about the deals that they would get…he choose to tour London by himself…I couldn’t believe that he was all alone taking pictures of all the noteworthy sites! (Being a speech pathologist I have always enjoyed the family discussions that go with new experiences…almost cried that he was not able to do that because I know how much it adds to the trip) When he sat with us to show us the photos we all told him we were going next time so he had to make sure the booking agent left time at the end of the tour for US!  We really truly thought that would happen…that there would be TIME for that….

So, my message for you this month is to take the bulls by the horns when you can…experience everything offered to you in life.. especially when it involves people you love…because you have no guaranties. I have so much trouble looking at all the shots of London…wanting so much to remember what John would have said about it all…trying to recall every word he said about the trip…I KNOW I would have remembered better if I had been there with him…and I would give anything to have that memory.  


Sandy Dunning said...

I'm so glad I discovered this post. Ni think about you so often, Paula, and wonder how you and your family are doing. Will keep you in my prayers today and do my own small act of kindness in memory of your beloved son.

Carol said...

I've been to a couple shows at Koko in London, and it is a huge venue! So amazing that John played there.

I think of John often as I walk through London, and will be especially when Mike and Andrew come for the Olympics in a couple days.

Lots of love,