The Full Buck Moon - July is normally the
month when the new antlers of buck deer push out of their foreheads in coatings
of velvety fur. It was also often called the Full Thunder Moon, for the reason
that thunderstorms are most frequent during this time. Another name for this
month’s Moon was the Full Hay Moon.
As I have mentioned many times in the past. I choose to believe
that I am going to see John again…never really gave the concept of an afterlife
much thought before he died but believing in it now is the only way I can get
through and I subscribe to the philosophy that you do whatever you need to do
to get through this life (as long as you don’t hurt anyone in the process…and
let’s face it, by the time I find out if it is true or not I will be dead too
so…mission accomplished!)
Given that fact, I think that if I really truly want to see
him again I had better try very hard to be good enough to make it to wherever
he is…I have visions of him shaking his head and saying to me “Oh,
mom….sorry!”
It is not easy for me to be kind and generous…I am ashamed
to admit that I have to remind myself all the time to be a better person. It is
constant battle for me. I go to bed at night and as I replay the day I think of
all the times I could have done better…it just doesn’t come to me in the
moment…as it always did for John. He was the kind of person who you looked at
and thought to yourself…”Wow…what a nice thing to do. Wish I had thought of
it!” Often he did little things that
were not hard to do … he just was in the moment that way.
I spend my life thinking that I need to make John proud of
me…but I thought that this was a personal issue for me…until recently when I
received an email from one of John’s dearest friends. She just earned her PhD
and I emailed her my congratulates, when she wrote back that not only did she
dedicate her theses to John she also lamented the fact that he wasn’t there to
share in this accomplishment (as he was when they both graduated from Syracuse)
….and then she echoed the statement that I use so often;
“ I guess I would just like to know that I made John proud.”
which, of course, he
would be because he really got excited when people succeeded at things they
love. He would have been the first to read her thesis…marveling at the contents
and telling her how smart she is and what an interesting topic she chose. He would
have been so honored and humbled by her dedication…he would tell her in one
hundred ways…he was proud of her.
And that brings me to think …as I have so many times in the
past…how do you make that kind of an impact on people…what do you do to make people
want to please you, even when you haven’t seen them for 5 years! How do you
inspire that kind of devotion in people? I am in awe of that and think it is
probably his best attribute…one I can never lay claim to. (his father is
responsible for passing on that trait)
So on this full moon when you will probably be with lots of
people…try to think of ways you can
inspire this kind of admiration in others…maybe you help someone with
their blanket as you watch the fireworks…or pick something up for them as they
pack up from the beach…or hold back when you really want to give someone a hard
time…can you imagine the world if more people acted this way? Let John’s impact
on others influence your behavior this holiday weekend and make it a
celebration for all!
