February 2012

February - Full Snow Moon – Since the heaviest snow usually falls during this month, native tribes of the north and east most often called February’s full Moon the Full Snow Moon. Some tribes also referred to this Moon as the Full Hunger Moon, since harsh weather conditions in their areas made hunting very difficult. I guess we would have to go with the Hunger Moon this year…not much snow in the Northeast but so many people out of work…hunger is more probable.

I was watching TV the other day and an Oscar Myer bacon commercial came on … I was so surprised that it depicted a situation that I have lived many, many times…and I even used Oscar Myer bacon!! I thought about this and decided I could and should share it with you…it may be something you can use yourself or share with someone who could use a lift…

I never listen to John’s music….it is hard to hear his voice when I am alone…and the songs that also have commentary are especially difficult…it can feel as though he is still here and when reality hits me I am ruined for the day. But last week I had to put some of his music together for a friend and one of the pieces I came across was a short little ditty called Eggs in the Morning. The song is about waking up to the smell of bacon and wanting to have eggs for breakfast. I never thought that I inspired John to write a song.. in fact, I always laughed when John would tell Lauren and I he had a new song and she would quickly ask if it was about us….it was so cute of her, his biggest supporter….but as I listened to John’s song I must admit, I do think that this is one I can take a little credit for.

I have explained about John’s terrible work habits…if an award was given for “Worlds Worst Worker” he would have been a consistent winner. He couldn’t even be bribed with money!!!  And at home…you would think a person who valued his family as much as John did would feel a responsibility to pitch in when necessary, Lauren was up with the birds to help us rake or paint and she did it without a word of protest…but not John…nothing could persuade him to get his behind out of bed and give us a hand if he wasn’t in the mood…except …..the smell of bacon frying in the kitchen…which I did on a regular basis when he was home…sometimes just to get him up…I would cook the bacon and when I knew the whole house smelled great I would go to his room and wake him up… and tell him that if he got up right away I would also make eggs and sometimes (if we didn’t have a big project underway) his father would also be making waffles…which would be the best of all possible breakfasts as far as John was concerned. Even with all this prompting it may often take a while to actually see his face in the kitchen…but it did work every time…there was just nothing like the smell of bacon as far as John was concerned.

This was a routine that I started when John was in high school (maybe even middle school) but it lasted forever…I am sure that I was still doing it when he came home for a visit even when he was an adult and touring with the band…by then of course, I just wanted to see him and couldn’t wait until he got up by himself…and I loved the excuse to go into his room and give him a kiss and a hug…(of course, gave a knock before entering when he was a grown up). I noticed as I wrote this that we don’t even do it anymore…there is no one to wake up….and that is a sad reality that all parents face someday….I take comfort in the fact that soon I will have two little ones to use the technique on …and it will be the same reason…I just want to see them!

My point in telling this story is ….I started this little ritual for my own benefit and lo and behold years later I find that clearly John liked it too…I used a little act of kindness and it out for worked for both of us!! How great is that? I have decided that maybe I should think about using this strategy more in life…because clearly it was meaningful for John…he never wrote lyrics that weren’t …and it has brought back some very happy memories for me. (what mom doesn’t like to think of pleasing their children and making their home feel like a good place to be?) So, with Valentines Day coming maybe you can begin some little ritual that doesn’t cost anything more than your time but it will make someone you care about happy and see you as a good place to be? Good luck and Happy Valentines Day!!