Februrary 2011

This month I found interesting new names for the February Full Moon...Apparently various American Indian tribes had different names as did the Colonialists themselves! Clearly they had winters like the one we have had this year...

Colonial moon - trappers moon
Cherokee Indians - bony moon
Choctaw Indians - famine moon
Dakota Sioux - moon when trees pop

We would have fit right in with the Sioux this year because during the first storm in December a big tree fell on John's Jeep and totaled it..Oddly, it was one of the tress that his tree house was built on! It took my husband a whole month to let it go..it actually sat in the garage for all the other storms so it wouldn't get snow in it (the tree feel right where the roof meets the windshield) I don't know what was harder..to see it every day with the smashed in windshield or to not see it in the driveway when I come home from work! Just another little piece of him that is gone..I am so glad that he lives on through all his many, many incredible friends! I hang on to that and every time I hear from one of you I am so thankful I could cry!

This leads me to this months blog..I happened to be watching TV just before Valentines Day and saw the add for Hallmark that advertised "I love us" and I thought about something Lauren constantly says about her life with John...and it was just that ...she has said time and time again..."I loved us"..and she says it in a way that makes me think that she can't believe that it was taken away from her..like she always knew that what they had was special...she appreciated it and didn't need it to be gone to realize it...she just knew...always

Lauren and her husband are expecting twins in May and the first thing she said to me when she found out that they are having a boy and a girl was "Mom, I think that John is telling me that he liked us too" I know she misses him every day just as I do..he would have been such a funny uncle!!! Sometimes I think maybe a little too "funny"...(anyone who had him for a camp counselor or babysitter will surely agree and probably share...something I am almost afraid to hear about!!)

But that is just what was so special about him..he always gave you a memory..good or bad (funny that now I even think he was kinda funny when he was bad..I think I realize he was just being a kid..and when I think of the adult he became I know that the little mistakes he made along the way were the moments we would all laugh about later in life .. and how wonderful it is to have them ..and how badly I wish he were here to laugh along with us ..to hear his perspective on those things..to listen to him tell the stories from his interesting perspective and Lauren from hers...telling me what a crazy mother I was or reminding me when I overacted to something...etc..etc. I am SURE they would be able to go on and on....

I know that is what Lauren misses the most ..having the other piece of her childhood...the one who could fill in the names or places or dates ..who lived her life with her..and that is what I wish for you this month..I hope you can take a second to say " I love us" as you think of your family and friends..reflect on how lucky you are to have each other..it is a very precious and fragile gift that has been given to you and can be just as quickly taken away...and maybe take a moment to tell those you love just that...