February's full Moon is traditionally called the Full Snow Moon because
usually the heaviest snows fall in February. (Certainly true this year!!!)
I often get very stressed out when I know the full moon is
coming because I have no idea what I am going to write about…but this month I
have had the idea in my back pocket for weeks!! Yeah, stress free month!
When you experience a challenging life experience that is
beyond your control it is impossible to move on without finding new ways of
looking at life …of finding solutions that make it possible to get up every
morning. For me, one of them was reading books on the topics of death and the
purpose of life. I am sure many people think it is crazy but one thing I have
learned through all of this is not to judge others who are just trying to get
by.
I don’t read them as much as I did when John died but every
once in a while I still grab one and give it a go…and this month I came across
a thought that I am keeping! I am paraphrasing but it goes something like: God
gives you gifts in life, but these gifts are not meant to last your lifetime.
Naturally, that made me think of John, I remember telling
someone at his wake that if I knew I was only getting him for 23 years I would
have taken it. So, I knew that this concept was true…even then. But now that I
have almost 6 years to live it…I can reflect on the idea of these “God given
gifts “in a broader sense…and in more contexts… and I can see it in other
people’s lives. I think that this has made me look back at John’s life and tell
myself that I got a lot of little gifts from having him in my life…not just the
obvious ones like the laughter he brought to us every day or the second hand
exposure to new and exciting ideas due to all his interests …we got much, much
more than that…we learned to look at the actions of people from their point of
view, not ours and to be so very grateful for friends, our town, our
family. After John died we lost the one
of the greatest gifts that could ever have been given. But…we have learned that
we must take the time to stop every so often to evaluate the gifts we do have
at the moment.
I spent so many days worrying about things in life that
really and truly didn’t matter at all…I know I could have spent the time I had
with John more wisely…I am sure people who develop illnesses wish they used the
time they had when they were healthy more appropriately…we all have 20/20
vision in hindsight…
And that is my message this month…take a minute to realize
what gifts you have been given right now…knowing that they are probably not
going to be yours forever and should be cherished for the brief time you are
lucky enough to have them.
