February 2013

February's full Moon is traditionally called the Full Snow Moon because usually the heaviest snows fall in February. (Certainly true this year!!!)

I often get very stressed out when I know the full moon is coming because I have no idea what I am going to write about…but this month I have had the idea in my back pocket for weeks!! Yeah, stress free month!

When you experience a challenging life experience that is beyond your control it is impossible to move on without finding new ways of looking at life …of finding solutions that make it possible to get up every morning. For me, one of them was reading books on the topics of death and the purpose of life. I am sure many people think it is crazy but one thing I have learned through all of this is not to judge others who are just trying to get by.

I don’t read them as much as I did when John died but every once in a while I still grab one and give it a go…and this month I came across a thought that I am keeping! I am paraphrasing but it goes something like: God gives you gifts in life, but these gifts are not meant to last your lifetime.

Naturally, that made me think of John, I remember telling someone at his wake that if I knew I was only getting him for 23 years I would have taken it. So, I knew that this concept was true…even then. But now that I have almost 6 years to live it…I can reflect on the idea of these “God given gifts “in a broader sense…and in more contexts… and I can see it in other people’s lives. I think that this has made me look back at John’s life and tell myself that I got a lot of little gifts from having him in my life…not just the obvious ones like the laughter he brought to us every day or the second hand exposure to new and exciting ideas due to all his interests …we got much, much more than that…we learned to look at the actions of people from their point of view, not ours and to be so very grateful for friends, our town, our family.  After John died we lost the one of the greatest gifts that could ever have been given. But…we have learned that we must take the time to stop every so often to evaluate the gifts we do have at the moment. 

I spent so many days worrying about things in life that really and truly didn’t matter at all…I know I could have spent the time I had with John more wisely…I am sure people who develop illnesses wish they used the time they had when they were healthy more appropriately…we all have 20/20 vision in hindsight…

And that is my message this month…take a minute to realize what gifts you have been given right now…knowing that they are probably not going to be yours forever and should be cherished for the brief time you are lucky enough to have them. 

January

January - Full Wolf Moon –Amid the cold and deep snows of midwinter, the wolf packs howled hungrily outside Indian villages. Thus, the name for January’s full Moon. Sometimes it was also referred to as the Old Moon, or the Moon After Yule. Some called it the Full Snow Moon, but most tribes applied that name to the next Moon.

As any mother can imagine, I think of John at least once every hour of every day. I am happy to say that after almost 6 years I do not always feel like someone is sitting on my chest when I think of him…sometimes I actually smile when I remember something he said or did…and that is the case with this quote that I saw not too long ago on Pinterest. The quote “Be the kind of person that you want to meet” immediately made me think of John…because if you could dream up someone you wanted to be with it was John.

He was so much fun because he had so many interests and when he spoke about something…he was usually the most knowledgeable person in the room on the topic. He was so darn witty, good with words and thought of the most crazy and fun things to do! His girlfriend, Mary, once told me that the party didn’t start until John showed up. And even kids who he babysat for still talk about the funny songs and games he could dream up at the drop of a hat! He was talented musically, but that is a given…but most of all…he was the best listener on the planet…when you spoke with him you had 110% of his attention. I used to tell him he should go into TV and interview people…he would have been so good at it…and he didn’t mind who you were when he was speaking to you …he was all yours and you couldn’t help but love the attention. I know this because not only have I been the recipient of his attention I saw it happen to others, old and young…everyone loved John.

And I think that is why it was so difficult when he died…no one could believe that he could be taken away…as is so often in the case of young, vibrant, kids….he had so much life in him and so much he still could give…it just didn’t seem possible! But that was because he was “the kind of person you want to meet”…

And that is my message for this month…try for a day or two to be that kind of person…the kind of person that when you take your leave of someone they say to themselves…I really like him/her…the kind of person that when you are in a grocery store or at the pharmacy and finish your transaction the clerk says…wow, would love to know him/her…you only have to do one thing well…give others 110% of your attention when you are with them. It doesn’t cost you a cent to do but I must admit…it is tricky because we all have a lot on our minds…however, if you try to do it for one hour every day you will get better at it in time…Maybe giving your family all our attention at dinner would be a good place to start..it would be good practice and could be the jumping off point for doing that with others…Can you imagine any better legacy to leave this planet? To actually be the person everyone wants to meet!