October 2010 Hunters Moon

Happy Hunters Moon.
As I listened to the news this morning I was reminded that tonight is the full moon and thought to myself, as I almost always do….what the heck am I going to write about? Following my usual routine, I then said to myself (and to John) … hope you can give me something to work with!
Well, not 5 minutes later it came to me…with the certainty that all my little stories do…and I am telling you this one because I believe (or should I say, I choose to believe) that someone needs to hear this today…so, whoever you are…here goes…
John had many friends who came from different backgrounds and interests…and oddly enough they contact us from time to time (which proves how kind people can be ) telling us that they still think of John or dream of him etc…it is comforting beyond belief!! Well, the other day I got a message from one of his friends who had just found out she was expecting a baby…which was a surprise to her, and I don’t think at the time she considered it a good surprise. Well, John came to her in the dream and told her he had something for her then handed her a beautiful baby boy. Well, come to find out she is, in fact, having a baby boy…which just adds a little drama to the story.
After I got over the WOW factor of her story I started to think of my own life, the trouble I had wrapping my head around the fact that I was going to have two kids 18 months apart. When I found out I was pregnant I thought to myself, well, at least let’s hope it is another girl, I already have the clothes and they could be the best friends, just as my sister and I were when we growing up. It was a blessing that I found out John was a boy, I needed the time to adjust before I had to face him….And he made me earn my money….all I am going to say about his infancy is that we called him “Cryin’ John Ryan” because that is just about all he did for 6 months. I think he would have gone on longer but the cut off for sleeping through the night was 6 months so once I got to that milestone, I put him in the bedroom as far away from us as I could and let him go. It was brutal…
No one who knew him as a teenager or adult would have ever known that part of him…he didn’t even know it himself until he was in high school and we happened to talk about it one day. I never would have brought it up…because the simple fact is. I didn’t have to….once I got him I realized that he was the best gift ever!! And…he actually got better as he got older!!! He was funny, smart, kind, and loving…and added to our family in ways we couldn’t ever count…. Truly….a blessing from heaven. Which is what is going to happen to this girl…she is going to be the best parent ever because she has so much to give!
So, my message this month is to let your life play out the way it was supposed to…sometimes when you think the worst thing has happened to you…it can turn out to be the best when you look back. (ok, I can never think that John’s death was good, but that is the exception and I am trying to keep an open mind on that subject…I certainly got to know his friends in ways I never would have…and they are a reflection of him…really, really, special. I also got the best son in law on the planet because if it…so there are a few good things!)
Have a good month..and “hunt” for the things in your life that are the happy surprises, for they are certainly there if you look.