April 8,2009

This month I have decided to share with you a beautiful poem John wrote. We found it after he died and have framed it because it was titled "for Mom and Dad"

To say that John was a handful when he was young is an understatement. There were times when he was two that I would lay in bed at night and tell my husband that I didn't say one kind thing to him all day.

Oh, the stories are endless...he told my 90 year old great aunt to "drop the pwesants and weave" at his second birthday..then when she tried to steady herself by holding on to the back of his high chair while we were singing happy birthday to him, he noticed she had invaded his space and proceeded to physically remove her hands! And the face on him while it was happening..we have it on tape!

He was caught more than once relieving himself in the bushes of the Carmelite Nursery and single-handedly caused the retirement of one nun...who told me once that the problem with him was that you couldn't make him cry! (to which I replied that I didn't realize that was a goal of nursery school)

It goes on and on...and I probably will mention more of them as this blog proceeds... However, I often think I wish that I could go back and tell him how much I always loved him, how proud I was of the man he had become..and to ask if I was forgiven for any time I had done anything that was hurtful toward him. In short, I wish I could ask him if I was a good enough mother...
and then we found this...

Blessed are the ones who sow
for they alone bring crops to grow.
And in the case of sickly stems
that others would soon stamp out
those who sow shall blanket in cold,
and water in times of drought.
Ironically, the tallest, proudest plant in the field
was scheduled to be stomped out long ago
and quietly it would have been
were it not for those who sow.

My point in all of this is that you just never know the lasting effect your actions have...and you may not get to fix a mistake or a slight...and you don't really know who the tallest, proudest plant will be...so this month, try to make sure you remember that...and treat every little plant as though it will become something beautiful...cause they do sometimes in spite of us..but just think of how much more good can be done if we try! (I do realize I somehow lucked out in life with John..he turned out great all by himself...but I hope that I can make up for the mean things I said or did to him...and all his friends know what I mean by that!)