This month I found interesting new names for the February Full Moon...Apparently various American Indian tribes had different names as did the Colonialists themselves! Clearly they had winters like the one we have had this year...
Colonial moon - trappers moon
Cherokee Indians - bony moon
Choctaw Indians - famine moon
Dakota Sioux - moon when trees pop
We would have fit right in with the Sioux this year because during the first storm in December a big tree fell on John's Jeep and totaled it..Oddly, it was one of the tress that his tree house was built on! It took my husband a whole month to let it go..it actually sat in the garage for all the other storms so it wouldn't get snow in it (the tree feel right where the roof meets the windshield) I don't know what was harder..to see it every day with the smashed in windshield or to not see it in the driveway when I come home from work! Just another little piece of him that is gone..I am so glad that he lives on through all his many, many incredible friends! I hang on to that and every time I hear from one of you I am so thankful I could cry!
This leads me to this months blog..I happened to be watching TV just before Valentines Day and saw the add for Hallmark that advertised "I love us" and I thought about something Lauren constantly says about her life with John...and it was just that ...she has said time and time again..."I loved us"..and she says it in a way that makes me think that she can't believe that it was taken away from her..like she always knew that what they had was special...she appreciated it and didn't need it to be gone to realize it...she just knew...always
Lauren and her husband are expecting twins in May and the first thing she said to me when she found out that they are having a boy and a girl was "Mom, I think that John is telling me that he liked us too" I know she misses him every day just as I do..he would have been such a funny uncle!!! Sometimes I think maybe a little too "funny"...(anyone who had him for a camp counselor or babysitter will surely agree and probably share...something I am almost afraid to hear about!!)
But that is just what was so special about him..he always gave you a memory..good or bad (funny that now I even think he was kinda funny when he was bad..I think I realize he was just being a kid..and when I think of the adult he became I know that the little mistakes he made along the way were the moments we would all laugh about later in life .. and how wonderful it is to have them ..and how badly I wish he were here to laugh along with us ..to hear his perspective on those things..to listen to him tell the stories from his interesting perspective and Lauren from hers...telling me what a crazy mother I was or reminding me when I overacted to something...etc..etc. I am SURE they would be able to go on and on....
I know that is what Lauren misses the most ..having the other piece of her childhood...the one who could fill in the names or places or dates ..who lived her life with her..and that is what I wish for you this month..I hope you can take a second to say " I love us" as you think of your family and friends..reflect on how lucky you are to have each other..it is a very precious and fragile gift that has been given to you and can be just as quickly taken away...and maybe take a moment to tell those you love just that...
Monday, February 21, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
Happy Snow Moon
Only a few Indian tribes called the January full moon the Snow Moon ...most used it in February... but I think that if they had a January like this one...Snow Moon would have been used!
I am going to tell you a funny story about John and snow...
He was the WORST worker around the house...I couldn't get him to do things and once he was finally helping out he would find countless ways to get out of it...bathroom breaks went on forever..etc... he was so frustrating and I felt so bad for his sister who was the opposite..never had to ask her to help and she would stick it out til the job was finished, never even complaining that he was slacker. Well, to get around it on snow days I would tell them that one had to shovel the back walk and the other one shoveled the front, and first out could pick.... I figured it would reward the hard worker and hopefully motivate the other...
didn't work....
he didn't give a fig and therefore was always stuck with the worst job...but he just took the hit (but still needed lots of prompts to get going) The only part of this plan that worked was that I think Lauren may have felt rewarded for a change...but John just didn't care...he was attention was always somewhere else...and..in retrospect...probably on more important things in life.
Which leads me to the message of the month...try to look past the pieces of your life that you currently think are SO important and look at the big picture of what is really and truly worthwhile.
Good luck with this..it is hard...I don't know how he did it...I sometimes this he came into this life knowing it... because he never spoke of it...he just moved through life doing it...and I wish I realized it when I could have talked to him about it...now I just have to hope I am doing it right...
one thing I do know is he was happier than most of us...and content...and I think that if we spend a little time every day thinking of what is really important to us and focusing on it we may find we are too..
good luck and try to enjoy the snow or at least laugh when you think of him shoveling!
I am going to tell you a funny story about John and snow...
He was the WORST worker around the house...I couldn't get him to do things and once he was finally helping out he would find countless ways to get out of it...bathroom breaks went on forever..etc... he was so frustrating and I felt so bad for his sister who was the opposite..never had to ask her to help and she would stick it out til the job was finished, never even complaining that he was slacker. Well, to get around it on snow days I would tell them that one had to shovel the back walk and the other one shoveled the front, and first out could pick.... I figured it would reward the hard worker and hopefully motivate the other...
didn't work....
he didn't give a fig and therefore was always stuck with the worst job...but he just took the hit (but still needed lots of prompts to get going) The only part of this plan that worked was that I think Lauren may have felt rewarded for a change...but John just didn't care...he was attention was always somewhere else...and..in retrospect...probably on more important things in life.
Which leads me to the message of the month...try to look past the pieces of your life that you currently think are SO important and look at the big picture of what is really and truly worthwhile.
Good luck with this..it is hard...I don't know how he did it...I sometimes this he came into this life knowing it... because he never spoke of it...he just moved through life doing it...and I wish I realized it when I could have talked to him about it...now I just have to hope I am doing it right...
one thing I do know is he was happier than most of us...and content...and I think that if we spend a little time every day thinking of what is really important to us and focusing on it we may find we are too..
good luck and try to enjoy the snow or at least laugh when you think of him shoveling!
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Sorry for the delay, computer problems!
I have thought about this post on and off forever, knowing I would have to address this someday but dreading the day I actually had to write it because it brings back so much sadness. ..But this month I have had experiences that brought the topic to my mind and I said to John; " If you don't give my something else to write about this is the month I am telling your story!"...well I had my answer when at school this week I saw a kid wearing a T- Shirt with the exact phrase I was going to use for my blog this month. Do Your Job is something I have never seen on a shirt worn by a teenager before so I did a double take, and figured I had my sign...
The death of your child is one of the few things that every parent can relate to..you don't have to live it to understand..so you won't find it hard to believe that we were living in a fog the weekend he went missing... just concentrating on the next breath rather than the horror our life was becoming...but even in the fog I was aware that things were not quite right, I just couldn't muster the energy to do anything beyond asking questions.
The first inkling I had that people weren't doing their job was when they found John's body and they told us that the area was going to be treated like a crime scene, so we might not want to go there. I asked if the house where he was staying was also a crime scene and the police told me that it was not because the kids came from good families...I did think to myself, gee, I think we are a good family, but didn't say anything because I figured I couldn't prove we were nice so why would he believe me?
We also couldn't prove that John hated the ocean to anyone who didn't know him. It was only hearsay and I was afraid we would look like we were trying to make excuses for him. When the State Police tried to tell us that their "marine officer" thought John may have tripped as he walked along the waters edge, got water splashed in his face, seen the lights across the harbor and walked towards them, which made him go deeper into the ocean. Thank God my husband is stronger than I am, he did loose it with that one...I mean ...really....did they think we were complete idiots? John only had 4 beers that night (and believe me, they checked for everything), the water was about 50 degrees, and although he was a great swimmer, he had a fear of sharks and never got his head wet in the ocean during the daytime, so ....really? They wanted us to believe that a kid who graduated Magna Cum Laude from Newhouse School of Communication at Syracuse wouldn't just turn around and look where the shore was as the 50 water got higher and higher on his legs?
I trusted that people were doing their job even though my cousin, who was the funeral director, commented on John's two black eyes and the line across his forehead, and suggested that maybe we should do our own autopsy. My husband asked the state police if they felt they had enough information and trusted them when they said they did...but later tried to explain away those marks by saying that they were made from brushing against the ocean floor...again...really?
As I said, I have always resisted recounting this story in my blog because it is so very painful for us. I feel that I have let John down, I know that people who read about his death think he was probably just another drug using drummer, and that is so unfair to him...but only people who were lucky enough to know him realize (and were pushing us from the start) someone wasn't doing their job.
Now, I can't change my life, I can only go on and do the best I can, maybe my blog is my effort to correct the injustice done to John ....but the fact remains that there are people who don't do their jobs, and sometimes it is devastating to others...So that is my message this month...a new year will soon be upon us and may be a good time to assess yourself...are you doing a good job.??....are you even doing your job at all???.....as a parent.....a friend...an employee.....if not....maybe you have your New Years Resolution!
I have thought about this post on and off forever, knowing I would have to address this someday but dreading the day I actually had to write it because it brings back so much sadness. ..But this month I have had experiences that brought the topic to my mind and I said to John; " If you don't give my something else to write about this is the month I am telling your story!"...well I had my answer when at school this week I saw a kid wearing a T- Shirt with the exact phrase I was going to use for my blog this month. Do Your Job is something I have never seen on a shirt worn by a teenager before so I did a double take, and figured I had my sign...
The death of your child is one of the few things that every parent can relate to..you don't have to live it to understand..so you won't find it hard to believe that we were living in a fog the weekend he went missing... just concentrating on the next breath rather than the horror our life was becoming...but even in the fog I was aware that things were not quite right, I just couldn't muster the energy to do anything beyond asking questions.
The first inkling I had that people weren't doing their job was when they found John's body and they told us that the area was going to be treated like a crime scene, so we might not want to go there. I asked if the house where he was staying was also a crime scene and the police told me that it was not because the kids came from good families...I did think to myself, gee, I think we are a good family, but didn't say anything because I figured I couldn't prove we were nice so why would he believe me?
We also couldn't prove that John hated the ocean to anyone who didn't know him. It was only hearsay and I was afraid we would look like we were trying to make excuses for him. When the State Police tried to tell us that their "marine officer" thought John may have tripped as he walked along the waters edge, got water splashed in his face, seen the lights across the harbor and walked towards them, which made him go deeper into the ocean. Thank God my husband is stronger than I am, he did loose it with that one...I mean ...really....did they think we were complete idiots? John only had 4 beers that night (and believe me, they checked for everything), the water was about 50 degrees, and although he was a great swimmer, he had a fear of sharks and never got his head wet in the ocean during the daytime, so ....really? They wanted us to believe that a kid who graduated Magna Cum Laude from Newhouse School of Communication at Syracuse wouldn't just turn around and look where the shore was as the 50 water got higher and higher on his legs?
I trusted that people were doing their job even though my cousin, who was the funeral director, commented on John's two black eyes and the line across his forehead, and suggested that maybe we should do our own autopsy. My husband asked the state police if they felt they had enough information and trusted them when they said they did...but later tried to explain away those marks by saying that they were made from brushing against the ocean floor...again...really?
As I said, I have always resisted recounting this story in my blog because it is so very painful for us. I feel that I have let John down, I know that people who read about his death think he was probably just another drug using drummer, and that is so unfair to him...but only people who were lucky enough to know him realize (and were pushing us from the start) someone wasn't doing their job.
Now, I can't change my life, I can only go on and do the best I can, maybe my blog is my effort to correct the injustice done to John ....but the fact remains that there are people who don't do their jobs, and sometimes it is devastating to others...So that is my message this month...a new year will soon be upon us and may be a good time to assess yourself...are you doing a good job.??....are you even doing your job at all???.....as a parent.....a friend...an employee.....if not....maybe you have your New Years Resolution!
Saturday, November 20, 2010
November 2010 Full Beaver Moon
Happy Full Beaver Moon! Happy Thanksgiving!
This was the time to set the beaver traps before the swamps froze, to ensure a supply of warm winter furs. Another interpretation suggests that the name Full Beaver Moon comes from the fact that the beavers are now actively preparing for winter
As you know, John’s birthday is also in November and to honor him this month I have tried to do little acts of kindness whenever I can. The other day I was going into Dunkin Donuts and held the door for a man who was coming in right behind me and as he went in he turned to me, looked me right in the eye and thanked me…so I smiled and told him he was certainly welcome! As we stood in the line waiting for our order he turned to me and said, “no one ever does anything courteous anymore!”
That got me thinking about how John … I know he would like that I did that, he would be proud of me. (Funny that now the parent is worried if the child is proud of her? ) I thought that he would like it if I made a habit of it...and then I thought...wow, he would really like it if everyone just took a minute to do those little things once in a while?
I wish I could count the number of people who have told me that he always spoke to them when he saw them around town. They always sounded surprised…isn’t’ it a shame that he was an abnormality in that regard? Shouldn’t we all be trying to make an effort to surprise someone with a simple act of kindness like that???? It is a sad commentary on the world today if those little acts died with John…
So, today, I am suggesting that you just be thankful that you have the ability to make someone smile…I know you will be surprised at the reception you get! And a great big “Thank you “ for reading my blog…
This was the time to set the beaver traps before the swamps froze, to ensure a supply of warm winter furs. Another interpretation suggests that the name Full Beaver Moon comes from the fact that the beavers are now actively preparing for winter
As you know, John’s birthday is also in November and to honor him this month I have tried to do little acts of kindness whenever I can. The other day I was going into Dunkin Donuts and held the door for a man who was coming in right behind me and as he went in he turned to me, looked me right in the eye and thanked me…so I smiled and told him he was certainly welcome! As we stood in the line waiting for our order he turned to me and said, “no one ever does anything courteous anymore!”
That got me thinking about how John … I know he would like that I did that, he would be proud of me. (Funny that now the parent is worried if the child is proud of her? ) I thought that he would like it if I made a habit of it...and then I thought...wow, he would really like it if everyone just took a minute to do those little things once in a while?
I wish I could count the number of people who have told me that he always spoke to them when he saw them around town. They always sounded surprised…isn’t’ it a shame that he was an abnormality in that regard? Shouldn’t we all be trying to make an effort to surprise someone with a simple act of kindness like that???? It is a sad commentary on the world today if those little acts died with John…
So, today, I am suggesting that you just be thankful that you have the ability to make someone smile…I know you will be surprised at the reception you get! And a great big “Thank you “ for reading my blog…
Friday, October 22, 2010
October 2010 Hunters Moon
Happy Hunters Moon.
As I listened to the news this morning I was reminded that tonight is the full moon and thought to myself, as I almost always do….what the heck am I going to write about? Following my usual routine, I then said to myself (and to John) … hope you can give me something to work with!
Well, not 5 minutes later it came to me…with the certainty that all my little stories do…and I am telling you this one because I believe (or should I say, I choose to believe) that someone needs to hear this today…so, whoever you are…here goes…
John had many friends who came from different backgrounds and interests…and oddly enough they contact us from time to time (which proves how kind people can be ) telling us that they still think of John or dream of him etc…it is comforting beyond belief!! Well, the other day I got a message from one of his friends who had just found out she was expecting a baby…which was a surprise to her, and I don’t think at the time she considered it a good surprise. Well, John came to her in the dream and told her he had something for her then handed her a beautiful baby boy. Well, come to find out she is, in fact, having a baby boy…which just adds a little drama to the story.
After I got over the WOW factor of her story I started to think of my own life, the trouble I had wrapping my head around the fact that I was going to have two kids 18 months apart. When I found out I was pregnant I thought to myself, well, at least let’s hope it is another girl, I already have the clothes and they could be the best friends, just as my sister and I were when we growing up. It was a blessing that I found out John was a boy, I needed the time to adjust before I had to face him….And he made me earn my money….all I am going to say about his infancy is that we called him “Cryin’ John Ryan” because that is just about all he did for 6 months. I think he would have gone on longer but the cut off for sleeping through the night was 6 months so once I got to that milestone, I put him in the bedroom as far away from us as I could and let him go. It was brutal…
No one who knew him as a teenager or adult would have ever known that part of him…he didn’t even know it himself until he was in high school and we happened to talk about it one day. I never would have brought it up…because the simple fact is. I didn’t have to….once I got him I realized that he was the best gift ever!! And…he actually got better as he got older!!! He was funny, smart, kind, and loving…and added to our family in ways we couldn’t ever count…. Truly….a blessing from heaven. Which is what is going to happen to this girl…she is going to be the best parent ever because she has so much to give!
So, my message this month is to let your life play out the way it was supposed to…sometimes when you think the worst thing has happened to you…it can turn out to be the best when you look back. (ok, I can never think that John’s death was good, but that is the exception and I am trying to keep an open mind on that subject…I certainly got to know his friends in ways I never would have…and they are a reflection of him…really, really, special. I also got the best son in law on the planet because if it…so there are a few good things!)
Have a good month..and “hunt” for the things in your life that are the happy surprises, for they are certainly there if you look.
As I listened to the news this morning I was reminded that tonight is the full moon and thought to myself, as I almost always do….what the heck am I going to write about? Following my usual routine, I then said to myself (and to John) … hope you can give me something to work with!
Well, not 5 minutes later it came to me…with the certainty that all my little stories do…and I am telling you this one because I believe (or should I say, I choose to believe) that someone needs to hear this today…so, whoever you are…here goes…
John had many friends who came from different backgrounds and interests…and oddly enough they contact us from time to time (which proves how kind people can be ) telling us that they still think of John or dream of him etc…it is comforting beyond belief!! Well, the other day I got a message from one of his friends who had just found out she was expecting a baby…which was a surprise to her, and I don’t think at the time she considered it a good surprise. Well, John came to her in the dream and told her he had something for her then handed her a beautiful baby boy. Well, come to find out she is, in fact, having a baby boy…which just adds a little drama to the story.
After I got over the WOW factor of her story I started to think of my own life, the trouble I had wrapping my head around the fact that I was going to have two kids 18 months apart. When I found out I was pregnant I thought to myself, well, at least let’s hope it is another girl, I already have the clothes and they could be the best friends, just as my sister and I were when we growing up. It was a blessing that I found out John was a boy, I needed the time to adjust before I had to face him….And he made me earn my money….all I am going to say about his infancy is that we called him “Cryin’ John Ryan” because that is just about all he did for 6 months. I think he would have gone on longer but the cut off for sleeping through the night was 6 months so once I got to that milestone, I put him in the bedroom as far away from us as I could and let him go. It was brutal…
No one who knew him as a teenager or adult would have ever known that part of him…he didn’t even know it himself until he was in high school and we happened to talk about it one day. I never would have brought it up…because the simple fact is. I didn’t have to….once I got him I realized that he was the best gift ever!! And…he actually got better as he got older!!! He was funny, smart, kind, and loving…and added to our family in ways we couldn’t ever count…. Truly….a blessing from heaven. Which is what is going to happen to this girl…she is going to be the best parent ever because she has so much to give!
So, my message this month is to let your life play out the way it was supposed to…sometimes when you think the worst thing has happened to you…it can turn out to be the best when you look back. (ok, I can never think that John’s death was good, but that is the exception and I am trying to keep an open mind on that subject…I certainly got to know his friends in ways I never would have…and they are a reflection of him…really, really, special. I also got the best son in law on the planet because if it…so there are a few good things!)
Have a good month..and “hunt” for the things in your life that are the happy surprises, for they are certainly there if you look.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
September 2010 Harvest Moon
The Super Harvest Moon will rise as the sun sets for the first time in 20 years! (thanks Lil)
It is funny that the moon this month would be called harvest moon because my blog is about just that…harvesting what you can, when you can.
I have recently watched more friends than I should endure the hardships of life…I actually sent one a poem written for parents of disabled children that talks about a woman who thought she was taking a trip to Italy like all her friends, a trip she had planned and prepared for…but when she landed the stewardess said “welcome to Holland!” The woman was very upset because this wasn’t the trip she had booked, and she did not want substitutions.
Well, the woman thought about it for a while…and it occurred to her that while she may not be taking a trip to the most glamorous country in the world this country did have some merits of its own….you just have to take the time to stop and look for them.
I have been thinking about that poem this week and realized that it could have been written for me too…for everyone really…. Because life doesn’t go as planned for anyone, we all have disappointments along the way. None of us get the life we anticipated …We are stuck with the life we get and all we can do is make the best of it. To make it work we need to look at our situation and try to see what is good about it instead of feeling sorry for ourselves…by doing this we won’t miss the gifts we have been given.
Don’t get me wrong..I miss John every single day of my life. I miss the way he made me laugh, …his one of a kind hugs,… his beautiful words, …and being able to be his mom…but in the past three years I have noticed that people can be kind and giving beyond all belief and I now know that the only truly important thing I can do in life is to be kind in return, to make a difference in at least one person’s life…and that is something I would never, ever have realized if I was still caught up in my little family. I loved my life, I hate that I am the visual reminder to everyone that life is short…but that is what I have been dealt, and no one wants to be with a cry baby…so I just have to move on…And that is what I want to pass on you today…harvest all the happiness you can and give in return…because truly…what you have planned may not be what has been planned for you..
It is funny that the moon this month would be called harvest moon because my blog is about just that…harvesting what you can, when you can.
I have recently watched more friends than I should endure the hardships of life…I actually sent one a poem written for parents of disabled children that talks about a woman who thought she was taking a trip to Italy like all her friends, a trip she had planned and prepared for…but when she landed the stewardess said “welcome to Holland!” The woman was very upset because this wasn’t the trip she had booked, and she did not want substitutions.
Well, the woman thought about it for a while…and it occurred to her that while she may not be taking a trip to the most glamorous country in the world this country did have some merits of its own….you just have to take the time to stop and look for them.
I have been thinking about that poem this week and realized that it could have been written for me too…for everyone really…. Because life doesn’t go as planned for anyone, we all have disappointments along the way. None of us get the life we anticipated …We are stuck with the life we get and all we can do is make the best of it. To make it work we need to look at our situation and try to see what is good about it instead of feeling sorry for ourselves…by doing this we won’t miss the gifts we have been given.
Don’t get me wrong..I miss John every single day of my life. I miss the way he made me laugh, …his one of a kind hugs,… his beautiful words, …and being able to be his mom…but in the past three years I have noticed that people can be kind and giving beyond all belief and I now know that the only truly important thing I can do in life is to be kind in return, to make a difference in at least one person’s life…and that is something I would never, ever have realized if I was still caught up in my little family. I loved my life, I hate that I am the visual reminder to everyone that life is short…but that is what I have been dealt, and no one wants to be with a cry baby…so I just have to move on…And that is what I want to pass on you today…harvest all the happiness you can and give in return…because truly…what you have planned may not be what has been planned for you..
Friday, August 27, 2010
August 2010
Full Sturgeon Moon – August The fishing tribes are given credit for the naming of this Moon, since sturgeon, a large fish of the Great Lakes and other major bodies of water, were most readily caught during this month. A few tribes knew it as the Full Red Moon because, as the Moon rises, it appears reddish through any sultry haze. It was also called the Green Corn Moon or Grain Moon.
I lost track of the moon cycle this month because we had so much rain in the days prior to it…sorry! And I had my story all set last week when I attended a fund-raiser that one of John’s friends had for him…where wonderful friends of ours served as bartenders … which was sooo much fun! The only, and I do mean only good thing about losing John is the realization that we are blessed beyond what we deserve in the friends department.
And my story this month came from that night…the head of the drama department came to this event and kindly told me that he has been teaching for 23 years and of all the students he had..John was really special; and he said he knew it even then. This surprised me because I know that the rest of the teaching staff at Hamilton Wenham Regional High School didn’t like him at all (see previous story about the National Honor Society) AND I had heard the story from John’s friend Matt (who was hosting the event) several days before when he informed me that John almost caused the play HMS Pinafore to be canceled because he was constantly dragging the “sailors” ( of which he was one) off to the music room to play music instead of practicing!!! Matt was the poor kid who had the lead..so he had to learn lines and songs and here was John…just goofing around and getting the rest of the gang to follow …throwing the serious actors into fits!!! They told me that they figured the solution was to just let John adlib every night…he was given some loose parameters and he was to just do his thing…and …as Matt reported…he stole the show!!! Well, I went to every one of the performances and he really did not steal the show but those sailors were very funny and it was clear that they were having fun…which is what you want to see in a play…but until just now I had no idea he was such a pain in the neck!
The funny thing is…Matt still had a fundraiser for him…all on his own! And his teacher still came to it!!! On a Thursday night!!! You really have to wonder how John did it…how he got everyone to love him in spite of all his antics!! I have decided that somehow John just knew what was important in life and didn’t worry about the little things…but you really have to admire the people who just knew he was worth the trouble…I am so happy he had those people in his life…kids deserve that…and those people have the gift of his story to tell now…and they were a part of it…and can take credit for making him the superstar he became. The one that record company executives and recording artists loved too…the one who could inspire someone to drive from Ohio to his funeral because “he was so kind to take the time to make me feel what it was to be part of his world.” I have many more stories but will save them for future blogs…my point this month is to take the time to try to see beyond the actions of people…you just may be surprised at what you find!! I wish you luck on this…cause if you find someone special – it is so worth the ride…and you will be laughing all the way !
I lost track of the moon cycle this month because we had so much rain in the days prior to it…sorry! And I had my story all set last week when I attended a fund-raiser that one of John’s friends had for him…where wonderful friends of ours served as bartenders … which was sooo much fun! The only, and I do mean only good thing about losing John is the realization that we are blessed beyond what we deserve in the friends department.
And my story this month came from that night…the head of the drama department came to this event and kindly told me that he has been teaching for 23 years and of all the students he had..John was really special; and he said he knew it even then. This surprised me because I know that the rest of the teaching staff at Hamilton Wenham Regional High School didn’t like him at all (see previous story about the National Honor Society) AND I had heard the story from John’s friend Matt (who was hosting the event) several days before when he informed me that John almost caused the play HMS Pinafore to be canceled because he was constantly dragging the “sailors” ( of which he was one) off to the music room to play music instead of practicing!!! Matt was the poor kid who had the lead..so he had to learn lines and songs and here was John…just goofing around and getting the rest of the gang to follow …throwing the serious actors into fits!!! They told me that they figured the solution was to just let John adlib every night…he was given some loose parameters and he was to just do his thing…and …as Matt reported…he stole the show!!! Well, I went to every one of the performances and he really did not steal the show but those sailors were very funny and it was clear that they were having fun…which is what you want to see in a play…but until just now I had no idea he was such a pain in the neck!
The funny thing is…Matt still had a fundraiser for him…all on his own! And his teacher still came to it!!! On a Thursday night!!! You really have to wonder how John did it…how he got everyone to love him in spite of all his antics!! I have decided that somehow John just knew what was important in life and didn’t worry about the little things…but you really have to admire the people who just knew he was worth the trouble…I am so happy he had those people in his life…kids deserve that…and those people have the gift of his story to tell now…and they were a part of it…and can take credit for making him the superstar he became. The one that record company executives and recording artists loved too…the one who could inspire someone to drive from Ohio to his funeral because “he was so kind to take the time to make me feel what it was to be part of his world.” I have many more stories but will save them for future blogs…my point this month is to take the time to try to see beyond the actions of people…you just may be surprised at what you find!! I wish you luck on this…cause if you find someone special – it is so worth the ride…and you will be laughing all the way !
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