Hello everyone. Hope all that signed on to the one smile every day resolution is finding it easy to do. I think that by sending everyone this link to the Comedy Night that Lauren’s group is having will bring a smile to them. They work very hard to get this going…God love them, I know that John is proud of them. (www.sticksman.org)
Now for my message:
I know you all know how much I miss John every single day. I think of him all the time, no matter how hard I try to go back to my old self, I just can’t! Mary and I were talking about him last week and I mentioned how much I missed touching his hands, holding his face in my hands as I kissed him goodbye or hello, or his “way too hard” hugs. Mary misses the personal connection they had when she would snuggle into his neck. Even though I know I will be with him again, I ache for the human touch of him that I will never, ever feel again and I think that is the hardest for Mary too.
I wished that someone had told me to take a minute to think about those little things you would miss if you were not going to get to see the people you love again, and take the time to cherish them. I so want to hold those hands again, or kiss that cheek…so please take some time this month to do it…even if you are not very affectionate…it is almost Valentine’s Day so use that as the excuse.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Januray 11, 2009
Happy New Year
It is difficult to let go of the holiday theme when you worked for 27 years at the elementary school level so naturally I have been thinking about resolutions this month. I don’t remember John doing much of it but I do think I certainly need to! I also don’t’ want to preach to others or suggest anything that I couldn’t do myself for a whole year and this is what I came up with; try to make someone smile every day.
It could be a thoughtful gesture or a funny remark or just a little surprise but all those things are not too hard to do and would make your world a better place. I think everyone could use a smile during these tough times and to be the person to give that little gift to others will make you feel better at the end of the day as well!
I hope John likes my plan…he is probably thinking I should be doing more than one to make up for all the times I make my family frown every day!!
It is difficult to let go of the holiday theme when you worked for 27 years at the elementary school level so naturally I have been thinking about resolutions this month. I don’t remember John doing much of it but I do think I certainly need to! I also don’t’ want to preach to others or suggest anything that I couldn’t do myself for a whole year and this is what I came up with; try to make someone smile every day.
It could be a thoughtful gesture or a funny remark or just a little surprise but all those things are not too hard to do and would make your world a better place. I think everyone could use a smile during these tough times and to be the person to give that little gift to others will make you feel better at the end of the day as well!
I hope John likes my plan…he is probably thinking I should be doing more than one to make up for all the times I make my family frown every day!!
Friday, December 12, 2008
December
Sorry I am late with this post but it has been a crazy day. Spent the better part at a funeral and had to think how odd that I would spend this day..the full moon, at yet another funeral and then a mercy meal at the Community House. I used to think it was just horrible to have a loss at the holidays but now I know it doesn't make one bit of difference...they are never the same.
I did think of my post today and it occured to me that everyone should center their thoughts on the gifts they do have, right this minute, and be sure to take some time to appreciate them. John was certainly a master of that...he would have someone waiting in the driveway to pick him up and run to the shower because he had been writing music too long (sorry Tim, I did yell at him for that). But he never got worked up about it...and aren't we all so happy now to have his beautiful words and songs. And aren't we all glad that he did spend that extra minute with us..never rushing us..just being there..in the moment...for us.
It is so easy to get caught up in the things you think you should do at this time of year that it just isn't fun when the family comes..we are too worn out..Take it from John, being good to yourself allows you to give the gift of yourself to others, and that is something to treasure. So relax, no one remembers anything but the laughs and acts of kindness! So, focus on giving those to everyone you meet this year!
Love to all!
I did think of my post today and it occured to me that everyone should center their thoughts on the gifts they do have, right this minute, and be sure to take some time to appreciate them. John was certainly a master of that...he would have someone waiting in the driveway to pick him up and run to the shower because he had been writing music too long (sorry Tim, I did yell at him for that). But he never got worked up about it...and aren't we all so happy now to have his beautiful words and songs. And aren't we all glad that he did spend that extra minute with us..never rushing us..just being there..in the moment...for us.
It is so easy to get caught up in the things you think you should do at this time of year that it just isn't fun when the family comes..we are too worn out..Take it from John, being good to yourself allows you to give the gift of yourself to others, and that is something to treasure. So relax, no one remembers anything but the laughs and acts of kindness! So, focus on giving those to everyone you meet this year!
Love to all!
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Happy Thanksgiving
Happy Full Moon
Happy, Happy 25th Birthday John.
This full moon is a “no brainer” for me. Naturally, in November, we all think about Thanksgiving and what we have to be thankful for (and I am beyond thankful for the wonderful friends John left us, who keep us going almost every day). But tonight, on the eve of the full moon, it is John’s 25th birthday so I also think of the 23 birthdays we had together…
From the 2nd birthday when he told my Mom and Grandmother and Great Aunt Anna to “just dwop the pwesents and weave” to the fabulous dinners we had as he grew up, when we would all dress in our finest and pick some place that was special and expensive and laugh and eat the night away! I can still picture sitting across from that handsome face with his smile that would melt your heart and think how lucky I was to have such an incredible family…and although my heart aches to return to that life I am thankful that I had it at all.
But I digress, because the real message for me tonight comes right from John because he was famous for his thank you notes. I have had more than one person tell me that they saved them…and after he died I actually got a copy of one he sent to Evelyn Lawnsby, thanking her for chaperoning a trip to the salt marshes when they were little… Anyone who has ever received a thank you note from him will understand… he was just able to put into words how he felt in his heart and it was so sincere! I never read, nor did I help with any of them…but I did have to haunt him to write them!
So, I hope you will take his lead and thank someone, anyone at all, today. While it would be lovely to actually write the words for them to keep and re-read I think he will be happy with just a simple word of thanks to any person you meet today who deserves it! And when you go to bed after doing that all day you will be able to think of how lucky you are to have so much to be thankful for!!
So, good luck and Thanks for listening!
Happy Full Moon
Happy, Happy 25th Birthday John.
This full moon is a “no brainer” for me. Naturally, in November, we all think about Thanksgiving and what we have to be thankful for (and I am beyond thankful for the wonderful friends John left us, who keep us going almost every day). But tonight, on the eve of the full moon, it is John’s 25th birthday so I also think of the 23 birthdays we had together…
From the 2nd birthday when he told my Mom and Grandmother and Great Aunt Anna to “just dwop the pwesents and weave” to the fabulous dinners we had as he grew up, when we would all dress in our finest and pick some place that was special and expensive and laugh and eat the night away! I can still picture sitting across from that handsome face with his smile that would melt your heart and think how lucky I was to have such an incredible family…and although my heart aches to return to that life I am thankful that I had it at all.
But I digress, because the real message for me tonight comes right from John because he was famous for his thank you notes. I have had more than one person tell me that they saved them…and after he died I actually got a copy of one he sent to Evelyn Lawnsby, thanking her for chaperoning a trip to the salt marshes when they were little… Anyone who has ever received a thank you note from him will understand… he was just able to put into words how he felt in his heart and it was so sincere! I never read, nor did I help with any of them…but I did have to haunt him to write them!
So, I hope you will take his lead and thank someone, anyone at all, today. While it would be lovely to actually write the words for them to keep and re-read I think he will be happy with just a simple word of thanks to any person you meet today who deserves it! And when you go to bed after doing that all day you will be able to think of how lucky you are to have so much to be thankful for!!
So, good luck and Thanks for listening!
Monday, October 13, 2008
October 15, 2008
Hello again, another full moon is upon us!
I have been thinking about the financial issues lately and noticed how little they are bothering me. In fact, John and I spoke about it just today and we agreed that we just didn’t care!
I think that when you already lived through the worst thing that could ever happen to you it does make you think of what is really, truly, important. My wish for everyone who reads this today is that they will just take the time to look at how lucky you are to have a family you can count on…to laugh with…and make some happy memories.
In the end, simple things like “family fun night” are the ones you can look back on and it always makes you smile. One time we played the game of Life and John had so many kids that he needed two cars! John Ryan and Lauren thought it was the funniest thing they ever saw..their dad with 10 kids!
I miss hugging and kissing my baby every single day but I don’t ever have regrets about the fun we all had just being together…all of us would rather be together than with anyone else..and that is a blessing that I am thankful for.
So, today, spend some time with the people you love and take a minute to realize how lucky you are.
I have been thinking about the financial issues lately and noticed how little they are bothering me. In fact, John and I spoke about it just today and we agreed that we just didn’t care!
I think that when you already lived through the worst thing that could ever happen to you it does make you think of what is really, truly, important. My wish for everyone who reads this today is that they will just take the time to look at how lucky you are to have a family you can count on…to laugh with…and make some happy memories.
In the end, simple things like “family fun night” are the ones you can look back on and it always makes you smile. One time we played the game of Life and John had so many kids that he needed two cars! John Ryan and Lauren thought it was the funniest thing they ever saw..their dad with 10 kids!
I miss hugging and kissing my baby every single day but I don’t ever have regrets about the fun we all had just being together…all of us would rather be together than with anyone else..and that is a blessing that I am thankful for.
So, today, spend some time with the people you love and take a minute to realize how lucky you are.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
September 15, 2008
Here we are again! Another summer has past and the days are already getting colder. As I sat at my computer to write this I noticed the wind chimes on our porch that have a piece of John in them…I will be taking them in soon because we don’t like to think of him in the cold. It was such a bad summer that I didn’t spend much time on the porch and therefore didn’t get to listen to his music.
I have been lucky to listen to the wonderful words of encouragement that you have continued to share with us. You have become his beautiful lyrics and have spread his “music” for him. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
This month I can also thank my wonderful sister-in-law, Marie for reminding me of another of John’s quirky, yet so kind gestures and thought that as you are packing away your summer clothes you may follow John’s lead.
As Ra Ra Riot climbed the ladder, companies sponsored them and one company was a New York clothing store called Ben Sherman. He would sit with Lauren, pick out clothes and put his order in. He was very funny and would agonize over every purchase. Well, he felt so guilty about getting free clothes that he started donating a piece of his own clothes for each one he got; and it was never some creepy old T-shirt he picked up at the Salvation Army, no, it would be something I had gotten him at Brooks Brothers or Burberry! I really couldn’t get too upset because it was, after all, the right thing to do but I must say I did hope just once to see a beat up shirt in the pile!
I thought of him this weekend when I packed a few of my summer things away and did put in some good shirts and shoes that I rarely wear… I know he is smiling about that.
Please feel free to reply..we love to read them!
I have been lucky to listen to the wonderful words of encouragement that you have continued to share with us. You have become his beautiful lyrics and have spread his “music” for him. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
This month I can also thank my wonderful sister-in-law, Marie for reminding me of another of John’s quirky, yet so kind gestures and thought that as you are packing away your summer clothes you may follow John’s lead.
As Ra Ra Riot climbed the ladder, companies sponsored them and one company was a New York clothing store called Ben Sherman. He would sit with Lauren, pick out clothes and put his order in. He was very funny and would agonize over every purchase. Well, he felt so guilty about getting free clothes that he started donating a piece of his own clothes for each one he got; and it was never some creepy old T-shirt he picked up at the Salvation Army, no, it would be something I had gotten him at Brooks Brothers or Burberry! I really couldn’t get too upset because it was, after all, the right thing to do but I must say I did hope just once to see a beat up shirt in the pile!
I thought of him this weekend when I packed a few of my summer things away and did put in some good shirts and shoes that I rarely wear… I know he is smiling about that.
Please feel free to reply..we love to read them!
Friday, August 15, 2008
August 17,2008
Unfortunately, this week our town has suffered another tragic death. A promising 18 year old boy, a track star on his way to Dartmouth College, left his house one night and died on his way home. Our hearts are breaking for his family whose pain we feel deeply.
I have had to learn many things this last year but I must say that trusting there is a reason for this sadness is a constant struggle for me. There has not been a single week that has gone by that we don't say "Oh, John should be here for this." or "John would have loved that." It has become a part of our lives..something I fear we will say forever...
But, the one thing that brings tremendous peace & I never regret “over-doing” is that every single time I ever spoke to John, we told each other “I love you”; it was a family habit. We ended every phone conversation that way, every time one of us left the house, or were dropped off at school. Never did he not say it, or say it back! Even if he was with his friends during his pre-teen/teenage years. I would often marvel at that, that he had the courage to do it so openly. Looking back however, John always seemed to know the truly important things in life.
So, this month, if you catch a glimpse of the full moon, think of how incredibly lucky you are to have your family & friends and remember to tell them that... you will not regret it!
Love, me
I have had to learn many things this last year but I must say that trusting there is a reason for this sadness is a constant struggle for me. There has not been a single week that has gone by that we don't say "Oh, John should be here for this." or "John would have loved that." It has become a part of our lives..something I fear we will say forever...
But, the one thing that brings tremendous peace & I never regret “over-doing” is that every single time I ever spoke to John, we told each other “I love you”; it was a family habit. We ended every phone conversation that way, every time one of us left the house, or were dropped off at school. Never did he not say it, or say it back! Even if he was with his friends during his pre-teen/teenage years. I would often marvel at that, that he had the courage to do it so openly. Looking back however, John always seemed to know the truly important things in life.
So, this month, if you catch a glimpse of the full moon, think of how incredibly lucky you are to have your family & friends and remember to tell them that... you will not regret it!
Love, me
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